…I was blessed by a lama.
It was a lovely little ceremony in an ornate temple before I
embarked upon my journey to Annapurna Base Camp in the Himalayas. It was meant to be a good luck charm. A simple blessing for a safe journey.
It was a thin piece of yellow string that the lama tied
around my neck and then he said a little prayer.
I loved it. I still
do.
That was in November of 2013. Now it is January 2017 and I just took it
off.
For the fist time.
I’m not entirely sure why.
It was a blessing after all, why would I remove that?
But it felt like time.
While I was there, in Nepal, hiking in the Himalayas, I have
this one very specific memory. I was
trudging up this steep, stone stairway (there were lots of those). I had just applied for grad school when I
left and was contemplating (and admittedly stressing about) what I was going to
do if I didn’t get in. Then this thought
occurred to me.
What if I do, actually get in?
That was almost more terrifying.
And, well, I got in.
I went to anesthesia school. And
as I have said before…
…it sucked.
They say it’s the hardest thing you will ever do in your
life. I think they are right. Of course there are worse things that can
happen to you, I’ve witnessed a few in fact.
And also, of course no one exactly held a gun to my head and made me do
it. So don’t feel sorry for me.
But still…
It was 27 months of my life.
And now it is over. What seems to
have started with that realization in Nepal, when the possibility first seemed
real and frightening, that was the beginning.
And now that journey is complete.
So maybe that’s why I removed that little memory. I put it in a new memory. A small jar, a
“dresser jar” that belonged to my husband’s great
grandmother. My husband gave it to me on
my birthday, and inside was his late mothers wedding ring…he gave it to me as
he proposed. So that little jar is sort
of a symbol of the next chapter. So I
put the last chapter inside of it.
Does that make sense?